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'Tis the most wonderful time of the year! But the holidays also come with a host of exhausting activities—from gift shopping and setting up the tree to cooking and connecting with relatives—that evokes its own brand of stress and anxiety.
Amid all the hubbub, it's easy to put your own needs on the back burner. However, mental health experts stress that taking care of yourself during the busy holiday season is crucial for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
It's so easy to take care of everyone else and ignore ourselves when we are being pulled in so many different directions, says Dr. Debbie Grammas, Houston-based licensed psychologist. However, it's important to note that taking care of yourself is important not just for your wellbeing but also to be able to take better care of others around you. "This is similar to being told while on an airplane to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting another. If we pass out, we aren't going to be any good to anyone else," says Dr. Grammas. In fact, it's more important than ever now to practice self-care because of how the pandemic has impacted our mental health, adds Dr. Juli Fraga, San Francisco-based licensed psychologist. "People are more depressed, anxious and stressed out than ever. And with the holiday gatherings going virtual this year, it's vital to find gentle ways to tend to our wellbeing," she tells.
Without further ado, here are ten small but impactful ways to take care of yourself over the holidays, according to mental health experts:
- Schedule time to check in with yourself. Carving out time for yourself regularly should be non-negotiable like brushing your teeth in the morning, says Kama Hagar, a certified holistic wellness coach. "Put it on the calendar daily for anywhere between ten minutes to an hour and call it 'selfless self-care' because it's not selfish, it is vital for your wellbeing, she tells. "Remember, even the energizer bunny needs to recharge its batteries," Dr. Grammas points out.
- Cultivate gratitude. "When we truly feel gratitude for something it warms our heart and puts us in a very different space emotionally. It gets us out of our negative thinking patterns and reminds us that there are positive things going on in our lives and the world," tells Dr. Grammas. It's important to remember that gratitude is not just about the big things that happen in our lives, but also about the small, seemingly ordinary things. An example of finding gratitude in everyday life is to think of something positive or good about your day. "It could be something as simple as being grateful that you have the heat on a cold day or have food on your table," says Dr. Grammas. Another way to practice gratitude is to look for simple acts of kindness. "Did someone let you cut in while entering the freeway? Maybe someone smiled at you or opened the door for you. Or perhaps you are grateful that the sun is out. These kinds of events occur on a daily basis. Sit with that feeling of warmth and really feel it," suggests the mental health expert. Here are four simple ways to be more grateful during the COVID-19 pandemic.
- Lower your expectations. Setting realistic expectations is another way to protect your mental health this time of the year. "We can certainly strive for a great holiday, but it's important to recognize it won't go exactly how you'd like," says Dr. Grammas. Besides, remember that other people also have expectations that might be very different from yours. So just because you don't think it's perfect, doesn't mean that someone else won't. Plus, "it's okay to let go of some of the things you typically do if you don't have time. Perhaps you can skip the holiday cards or other activity," suggests Dr. Grammas. "It's also important to decide how much you are comfortable spending during the holiday season. If you have lost your job or your income has gone down, how about baking something? Another idea is to make something. Maybe you are great at sewing—in that case, you can make jewelry or art as gifts. Remember, you don't want to put yourself into debt to make someone else happy. That shiny new gift will only feel that way for a short time," notes the psychologist. "Decide what you can afford and set boundaries accordingly. Research shows people appreciate small tokens of love just as much as large ones," adds Dr. Fraga.
- Be intentional. Hagar suggests setting intentions for the holidays to keep unnecessary stress at bay. Intentions are like your North Star—they help guide you by allowing you to prioritize tasks and live in the moment, says Hagar. Start by asking yourself, "what is my intention this holiday season?" Is it to be more kind to yourself? To be more grateful? Or, spend more time with the kids? Whatever your intention is write it down and create a phrase or an affirmation out of it, suggests Hagar. Now make sure that your thoughts and actions align with that intention. Regularly checking in with your actions, your word and your intention will help you become a more calm and mindful version of yourself.
- Stay connected. If you can't be with your family this holiday season and are feeling lonely, try to find novel ways to interact with your loved ones while following social distancing protocols. "Set up a Zoom happy hour. Or a session with a friend to wrap gifts. Or engage in a craft or some other activity you love, even if you can't see people in person," suggests Dr. Fraga. Or, you can FaceTime with your loved ones during the holiday meal. That way it will feel as if the person is with you, adds Dr. Grammas. Here are some other fun ways to celebrate the holidays amid the pandemic.
- Take a deep breath. So often we aren't mindful of how we breathe, says Hagar. "Shallow breathing limits the diaphragm's range of motion," states a Harvard Health Publishing report. As a result, the lowest part of the lungs doesn't get a full share of oxygenated air which, in turn, can make you feel short of breath and anxious, it adds. By simply deepening the breath, we can properly oxygenate the body, lower heart rate, stabilize blood pressure and improve immunity, among other things, notes Hagar. Moreover, studies show that slow breathing, aka diaphragmatic breathing, also induces calm and improves cognitive performance. Here's another simple breathing technique to help you de-stress in five minutes or less.
- Practice self-compassion. Being kind and forgiving to yourself is another powerful way to enhance your mental wellbeing, says Dr. Fraga. Harsh self-criticism activates our sympathetic nervous system (which gears up the body for "fight or flight" response) and elevates stress hormones (cortisol), states a report by the Stanford Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education. Self-compassion or self-love, on the other hand, helps you remain calm in the face of difficulty, lowers stress and increases productivity, adds the report. Speaking kindly about yourself, learning to say no, avoiding comparisons with others, walking away from toxic relationships, accepting and forgiving your mistakes and starting a gratitude journal are a few effective ways to cultivate self-compassion.
- Manage stress. The holidays can trigger a cortisol increase in many of us. This is why it's important to invest in activities and rituals that can help lower it, says Hagar. "Some science-backed practices to help regulate your stress levels include mindful meditation—anywhere from five to thirty minutes, daily exercise and spending time in nature," says the wellness coach. Here are a few other research-backed ways to relieve stress. Hagar also recommends trying a reiki session. Reiki is a Japanese energy healing treatment that can be performed and received remotely to promote deep relaxation, explains Hagar.
- Steer difficult conversations toward a positive direction. According to a November 2020 survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), 40% of US adults admitted that the political climate has caused strain between them and their family members. "It’s important to have healthy conversations, but also to be mindful of when the discussion escalates and becomes unproductive," states APA. To navigate difficult conversations around sensitive topics, APA recommends active listening, avoiding polarizing language, accepting that you may not be able to change someone's perspective and ending an unproductive conversation as peacefully as you can. In addition, "if you are concerned about potentially difficult conversations at family gatherings, such as during the holidays, remember these events are about bringing people together, not driving them apart," says APA. "Focus on good memories and what you and your family have in common. Plan activities that foster fun and laughter, such as playing a family game or looking through old photo albums," it suggests.
- Remember that you're not alone. If you're battling with grief or anxiety, know that you are not to blame for your feelings, says Dr. Fraga. In addition, acknowledging and managing your emotions instead of bottling them up will help shrink the power they hold over you, she adds. If you're struggling with anxiety, start by setting realistic expectations about the holidays—set boundaries when it comes to running errands, shopping, spending time with relatives, etc. And don't be afraid to ask for help or politely refuse to take on a task if you're feeling overwhelmed. In addition, take at least a 15-minute break once a day to do something that helps you relax (eg: taking a long walk, napping, reading, listening to music, meditation, volunteering, etc.). Meanwhile, if you're dealing with grief or loss, the American Psychological Association (APA) suggests making a mental plan that includes minimizing anxiety and celebrating the deceased. To do so, it recommends steps like accepting that the holidays would be different this time around and you'll feel a range of different emotions, letting go of holiday traditions that are too painful, connecting with people who are supportive of you, doing something that includes the memory of the lost in the celebration (like lighting a candle for them, preparing their favorite dish or donating to a cause they were passionate about).
If despite your best efforts, you continue to feel emotionally distressed, contact a mental health professional or call 1-800-273-8255 at the earliest.
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December 14, 2020 at 09:03PM
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10 Little Ways To Take Care Of Yourself This Holiday Season - Forbes
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