We were sitting in the beautiful auditorium of the FSU College of Medicine between sessions of the annual Alzheimer’s Project Conference for Caregivers. Nearly a year after the death of my mother, it was the first time I had been with one of the persons who had enriched my mother’s life in her last seven years as she lived at Westminster Oaks.
The truth of her words pierced my soul. She prefaced her remark about their efforts as staff with, “I know we never lived up to your expectations for your mom’s care.” Fighting back tears, I told her that since my mother’s death, I realized just how much the staff had done for my mother and the other residents I had come to love on the dementia floor where my mother lived.
I told her how grateful I was for her cheerfulness and persistence. I said words of appreciation I wish I had said far sooner and thanked her in particular for her tenderness in coming to sit at my mother’s deathbed sharing stories of the times they had spent together and gently singing some of my mother’s favorite songs, indicating an awareness of my mother born of attention and love.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, many healthcare workers have been lauded for their courage, devotion, and care of patients. Described as heroes, they are the recipients of drive-by parades, discounts from merchants, gifts delivered to the workplace, and more. Rightly so. We continue to feel deep gratitude and to pray for their physical and mental well-being in a time of unprecedented demand.
But not all healthcare workers are celebrated. What we hear more about during the pandemic regarding nursing home and assisted-living staff is suspicion and concern.
Without the watchful eyes of family members and ombudsmen going into facilities, some wonder what is happening to nursing home residents and our elders in congregate-living settings.
While it is critical to have standards of care and hold persons accountable to those standards, it seems the default for many of us is to expect the worse rather than realize how remarkable it is that day in and day out, facility staff attend to the needs of elders in a setting that is as dangerous as any regarding the virus, and as demanding as any regarding human need.
Beginning on Mother’s Day last Sunday, this week has been National Skilled Nursing Care Week. Established by the American Healthcare Association in 1967, this week recognizes the essential role of skilled nursing care centers in caring for America’s frail, elderly, and disabled.
It is challenging work under the best of circumstances, and even more so in this pandemic, without the support of proper personal protective equipment (PPE), the help of volunteers, and important visits from loving family and friends.
While there may be pockets of neglect and mistreatment that certainly must be addressed, my sense is there are far more stories of supportive care and love as nursing home and assisted-living staff leave the security of their own homes to creatively and lovingly care for a vulnerable population that needs them now more than ever.
Because the nursing home and assisted-living staff take care of our beloved parents, relatives, and friends over time, rather than in short intervals as happens in acute settings, we family and friend caregivers develop a relationship with these staff members.
What I discovered about myself is that my expectations regarding the care of my mother in her situation exceeded what any human being could do under the circumstances and I wish I had realized this sooner. I wish I had said thank you more often and not sweated the small stuff as much as I did.
My grandmother used to say, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” It seems critical to me that in this unprecedented time of so much responsibility falling to the staff in nursing homes and assisted-living facilities, that we all need to look for ways to encourage and empower them in the very important work that they are doing to care for our elders.
I encourage all of us who are indebted to those essential workers in the nursing home and assisted-living industry, including cafeteria workers, maintenance personnel, activities and administrative personnel, physicians, nurses, aides, social workers, and chaplains, to remember them in prayer and creatively support them in other ways.
Carenotcovid.com is a website where you can send a social media message to nursing home and assisted-living residents, record a video, or tell a story to our elders who need to know that we care about them. This helps our elders as well as the essential workers who care for them.
Perhaps you would like to order and deliver a meal to staff as a word of appreciation or plant a sign on the facility lawn to say that you appreciate all that they are doing. May we all find ways to show we see these important workers and appreciate all their care for the most vulnerable among us.
The Rev. Candace McKibben is an ordained minister who serves as the director of faith outreach at Big Bend Hospice and as pastor of Tallahassee Fellowship.
Never miss a story: Subscribe to the Tallahassee Democrat.
"caring" - Google News
May 17, 2020 at 12:59AM
https://ift.tt/364My5H
Show appreciation for those caring for our elders | McKibben - Tallahassee Democrat
"caring" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2z0ngcp
https://ift.tt/3fgQ2Gv
Bagikan Berita Ini
0 Response to "Show appreciation for those caring for our elders | McKibben - Tallahassee Democrat"
Post a Comment